30 Things You Understand Only If You’re from San Francisco
We may wear hoodies and eat avocado toast, but we’re not all coders and hippies. (Though, fine, some of us are.) Regardless of our reputation, we are pretty sure we live in the best place ever. Here’s a quick rundown of things only we understand—the stuff that separates the true locals from the tourists.
1. First things first, no one who lives here calls the city San Fran. Or Frisco. It’s SF, baby.
2. There really is no summer here. And the rare 80-degree day is as likely to happen in August as it is in January.
3. All those unmarked buses are driving engineers to Silicon Valley.
4. In other parts of the country, people save for large single-family homes with real yards. We save for two-bedroom, two-bathroom apartments under 1,000 square feet.
5. We’re just as crazy for a scoop of salted caramel from Bi-Rite Creamery and cronuts from Mr. Holmes Bakehouse as we are for cold-pressed juice and avocado toast.
6. We secretly cave for fast food. But only if it’s In-N-Out.
7. We don’t live in fear of the next Big One. But we’ve got our earthquake kits ready just in case.
8. February ski week is an actual thing. Schools close so families can hit the slopes.
9. You can’t go a block without passing a Prius…or two.
10. You can’t buy a place without having at least $1 million in the bank.
11. If you’re flying Virgin or American, you get to the airport early just so you have some time to hang out at T2 before boarding.
12. Going to the beach means wearing a hoodie, scarf and wool hat. And we don’t dare set foot in the water without a wet suit.
13. You need to allow at least 45 minutes to make the ten-mile trek to Oakland—no matter what day of the week, time of day or mode of transportation.
14. We accept that, if we have a friend who moves outside of SF proper, we’ll only see her once or twice a year. After rescheduling twice.
15. Puffy jackets are acceptable attire year-round. And you never leave home without a jacket and a scarf.
16. Highway? You mean freeway, right?
17. Taking an Uber only a few blocks is sometimes necessary to avoid a sweaty uphill schlepp.
18. It’s best to avoid SoMa during the weekend of the Folsom Street Fair—unless you’re prepared to see whips and leather chaps in full force.
19. Rent control is pretty much the only reason we’re still living in SF proper.
20. Our dogs eat more organic food than we do.
21. We are crazy about composting. Just try to put that banana peel in the trash and see what happens.
22. Urban hiking is a real thing.
23. We’ll avoid driving and take an Uber instead just so we don’t lose our parking spot.
24. It’s necessary to keep your head down when walking because…poop dodging.
25. All Things Considered are a sacrament.
26. Learning how to get off the bus is a rite of passage. Just step down.
27. BLAT stands for bacon, lettuce, avocado and tomato. And we eat a lot of them.
28. In order to survive here, you must master the art of layering.
29. We’re obsessed with the Warriors and the Giants.
30. It’s best to embrace Karl the Fog. Because he’s going nowhere fast